Imposter Syndrome: An Autobiography 

Disclaimer: All information posted is solely my own thoughts and opinions. I do not speak on behalf of my employers, educational institutions, or professional organizations past, present, or future. 

As you may have noticed, I tend to post something online and then disappear for weeks or months at a time. Lately I’ve been forcing myself to sit with the discomfort that keeps me from doing what I keep saying that I want to do: have a consistent social media presence that I use to connect with other professionals. 

At first, I told myself it was just new motherhood, and that’s part of it. Then I thought it was my job, it was too taxing, too demanding, which while partially true, did not keep me from doing other things in my life that I wanted to do. Now that I’ve had some space from that job, my baby is almost one, I’m starting to see that while yes, new motherhood and my job have both been demanding, my biggest obstacle is the person in the mirror. 

Imposter syndrome has kept me from moving forward, and I’ve let it. I get so fearful of speaking out for fear of what I don’t know, that I keep myself from learning as a result of speaking out. The notes app on my phone is full of ideas, half-baked blog posts, my photo albums on my phone filled with footage of could-be TikToks or Instagram Reels. I consume hours of content on social media, but I keep from creating my own because I think it won’t be good enough. Then, enough time goes by that I tell myself it’s been too long since I’ve done anything and I get overwhelmed, I feel shame and the cycle repeats itself.  

The god’s-honest-truth is that no one cares, and that is very freeing. No one is scrutinizing me as much as I am–no one is making me feel ashamed for not showing up here except for me.  I tend to be “all-or-nothing,” and moving forward I hope to land somewhere in the middle. The good news is it isn’t too late to start. That goes for all of us.

I’m not here to say I’m committing to post every day or that I’ve now unlocked the secret to overcoming imposter syndrome because I haven’t. I’m simply deciding that I’m done with my previous narrative and not allowing the fear and shame to keep me from showing up. I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way, so while this post serves as my reminder to continue sifting through the uncomfortable reality and pushing back against my insecurities, I hope it can be encouraging to you, too.